As a female diver, luckily up to now I haven’t come across any real jerks. And if I do, I won’t have a problem putting them in their place either. Diving should be about the sport not the gender and if woman are good divers then it shouldn’t matter.
I have a few regular male dive buddies and they treat me the same as any of the guys. At least I think they do. I carry my gear including tanks and don’t ask for help but if help is offered I don’t usually turn it down either.
My dive buddies usually have a little bit of a challenge keeping up with me and my air consumption. Some have even purchased larger tanks....I think the important fact anyone should consider with a dive buddy is not the gender but the experience of the diver and whether the diver will be able to handle emergency situations in a calm and effective manner.